As Told By : A Once Sheltered Child.

From the "expanding of new horizons" to the immense amount of studying you do, all the way to the morning when you wake up with no pants on in a dorm hallway with a tattooed heart on your arm that says Cindy (and you don't even know a Cindy!) , college is supposed to be the best years of your life. And now being in college for a few months I feel as if I should sum up what I have learned so far. (kinda like a Major League pitcher who blew out his arm in the first year of his career and goes on to write a book on how he impacted the game...) 

   

  First off I'm going to start off with school.  Its the reason why we are here right?  We pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to be stressed out, learn little from the Asian Calculus teacher who stands up in the front of a class of 2000  and speaks Mandarin, while the interpreter that the STATE FUNDED school hired for him is speaking in sign language because he is deaf (irony I know). 

 We go to class (or at least some of them) and try to learn but usually just sit back and count the lights in a room or people watch to see if the cute girl in the front row will turn around and do the "back crack look around" at you.  But honestly if school is why we are here why is it that I find myself waking up on monday and wishing it was Thursday? Would it have been more benificial for me to just go right to work and make money now? I don't know only time will tell.  

Second is the social aspect.  I've always thought "Man, what if college was just a 4 year social experiment with nothing more than young people living in a town with no parents and just see what happens" (MTV does this just scaled back...Real World anyone... maybe its a good thing there is school here.)  That would be great! with school out of the way I can focus on the better things in life, like drugs and prostitution, facebook creeping and sleep, alcohol and the occasional so drunk-night-that-it-didn't -even-happen no matter what your friends say or what random people come up to you and ask for your autograph because your new nickname is the "Legend".  Who wouldn't want all of that? Well from my few month here I like to step back and see the forrest for the trees.  Social life in college is summed up in three words or PPR, PLAN-PARTY-RECUPERATE. ( and if your in the Greek life one word PARTY). Its what keeps the normal people going, ( I say normal because you see the loser nerd people who are in the library on a friday night who get excited when the new Popular Science magazine comes out) and keeps the dreaded "S" word from getting to far in the way of what is really important side.   

The third thing I've learned is this.  DON'T GET STUCK IN HIGHSCHOOL.... let me repeat this to the people who are talking to there "BFFL" DON'T GET STUCK IN HIGHSHOOL!!! If there is one thing that I hate more than our current President it is the childish kid who can't stay away from home for more than a week.  Let me just paint a picture of this person for you and you too will be able to see this person from miles away because they will have a green diamond on there head like a character from the SIMS.  

It is supposed to represent the
 END. KEEP IT THAT WAY!

1. Still Wears the Letterman: Need I say more.
2. The only conversation they have starts with  "well back in highschool"
3. Has more pride in there hometown school than the school they are paying thousands of dollars for.
4. Is so blind to the fact that there is something outside of the town of 200, that they will fight you if you make fun of the town goat. 

This is just the tip of the ice burg.  But my advice if you are reading this and see yourself shaking your head yes if you fit these categories is this .... you still have time to save yourself before you will always be labeled the highschool guy so go out there and meet new people and take the pictures of graduation out of your wallet and GET OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL! 

Ok Summary:

• School Sucks 
• What keeps us going... no not the fact that I will be writing the checks for your paycheck when I get out. Its PARTIES. 
• AND GET OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL!!! 

Stay Thirsty My Friends.